


Too Late To Cry, To Broken To Move On

by fromstarlighttodust



Series: A Drop In The Ocean [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Companion Piece, Hallucinations, Isolation, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 15:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16601009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromstarlighttodust/pseuds/fromstarlighttodust
Summary: What happened to Levi during his time separated from Eren, Armin and Mikasa? How did he get into the position he's in now? Why didn't he find them at the treehouse? What broke him?





	Too Late To Cry, To Broken To Move On

**Author's Note:**

> This should be read after chapter 24 of the main fic for clarity purposes. :)

Levi looked up the ladder, his eyes meeting Mikasa’s. He tried to get his words to work, to yell to her that it was up to her to look after Eren now, if he turned he couldn’t protect them now, but his voice was stuck in his throat. They wouldn’t come and yet, Mikasa was nodding like she understood. Levi knew that he had to get the zombies away, had to protect his family, but the pact… If he turned from this, Eren had to kill him. No, he didn’t want to put that burden on Eren. Eren didn’t deserve to have to do that. Levi took a deep breath and grabbed a stick, hitting the a building as he ran to lead the zombies away.

30… 31… 32… 33… 34… 35… 36… Levi looked down at his arm as he ran. He wasn’t turning. He was still human. A laugh of relief almost bubbled out of his throat as he continued to sprint away, keeping the horde following him. Now he just had to lose the zombies and meet up with Eren.

Darting to the left as he threw the stick as hard as he could in the direction he had been running, he pressed himself against a wall and held his breath. The zombies kept going, not paying any attention to him, just chasing the noise. It took longer than he would have liked to loop back around, but he made it back to the alley with the ladder.

It was empty. Levi looked around, trying to find any sign of where his family had gone. He slowly and carefully checked around the nearby alleys and streets, looking for any tell. Unable to find anything, Levi bit his lip. What now? He cursed himself for not asking where the treehouse was in the forest. He didn’t even know what direction to start looking in.

Eren, Mikasa and Armin would have to come back to the city to get supplies eventually. If he never found them, maybe they would look for him in the apartment? Nodding to himself, Levi headed home to wait for him family to come find him.

``~`**`~``

 

How long had it been? Levi didn’t know. Days? Hours? Months? Years? How long had he been alone? Where was his family? He curled up into a ball, pulling his knees to his chest, swatting at his head as phantom voices assaulted him. He gasped as a swarm of flies came at him, and he closed his eyes tightly, awaiting the impact of the swarm that never came.

Hallucination, he realized. They were coming more and more often these days. Probably more often than he was aware of.  Even if they were hallucinations, everything was so,  so dirty... It made his skin crawl, like an itch he couldn't scratch just below his skin. He had spent days trying to clean, trying to get rid of the bugs, the dirt, the grime, but it just kept coming back as soon as he closed his eyes. 

“Levi?” Eren’s voice called out to him.

Levi’s head shot up. “Eren?”

“Levi?”

“I’m here,” Levi crawled forward, trying to chase the voice.

“Levi?” It came from the other direction now. How did Eren get behind him?

“Eren, don’t leave me by myself again,” Levi begged the voice.

“Levi?” The voice was fainter now. Where was Eren going? Why was he leaving?

“Please, don’t go,” Levi whispered as he curled up onto himself again.

Silence. It had to have been another hallucination. Eren wouldn’t leave him alone after all this time. Eren would stay with him.

“Eren,” Levi whispered into his knees. “Eren… Eren… Eren…”

“Hello?” A stranger’s voice. “Is anyone there? I heard you talking, we won’t hurt you, we’re here to help.”

Levi pulled his knees closer to himself. Another hallucination?

“Erwin,” a female voice. Who was it? “There’s a kid here.”

“Hey, are you alright? Kid?” Was it talking to him?

Levi looked up to see a man and a woman standing in the room. “Are you real?” He whispered.

The woman looked surprised, but the man knelt in front of him. “We’re real. My name is Erwin. Are you by yourself?”

“I’m... “ Levi swallowed thickly. “I’m waiting for my family. We were separated.”

“How long have you been here?” The woman asked.

“I… I don’t know. We were separated a year after the apocalypse started,” Levi blinked.

“You’ve been here for six months?” The woman looked shocked.

“Six months?” Levi’s eyes widened. Why hadn’t they come for him yet?

“That’s a lot for a kid to handle on his own,” Erwin said gently.

Levi scowled at him. “I’m 19,” he said crossly. His own hallucinations should know that, did that mean these people were real?

“Damn, you’re tiny,” the woman laughed.

Erwin looked up at her with a frown. “Don’t be rude, Hanji,” then he turned back to Levi. “We’ve all lost people, too. Why don’t you come with us? We’re soldiers. We’ll protect you.”

“I have to wait for them,” Levi said quietly. “They wouldn’t just leave me.”

“You can’t bring people back from the dead. Unless they’re zombies, and I honestly don’t think that counts,” Hanji shrugged.

Levi glared at her. “They’re lost, not dead.”

Erwin sent Hanji a warning look. “Our headquarters are a survivor’s colony. Maybe your family is there?”

Levi bit his lip. “What if they’re not? Will you make me stay there?”

“If they’re not, joining our ranks would allow you to look for them,” Erwin replied. “We are always looking for more survivors.”

Levi looked between the two people standing in front of him. There was a chance that they knew where his family was and if he went with them, he wouldn’t have to be alone any more. “My name is Levi.”

 

``~`**`~``

 

His family wasn’t at the survivor’s camp, but Levi stayed. His time alone had twisted him further than before, making him darker and less approachable. Even he could tell and he didn’t want to risk making it worse, so bad that even Eren wouldn’t want to put up with him.

He learned how to use the fancy gear that he was given to fight zombies with. 3DMGear it was called. He learned how to be a good soldier, offering his loyalty to Erwin. He learned to drink away the nights with Hanji when he couldn’t sleep. He learned to never show any emotion or people would try to talk to him, distract him from his single minded goal. Find his family. He learned how to earn respect, rising through the ranks of the military like organization that Erwin commanded.

Faster than he’d like to admit, months turned into a year and Levi learned that there were much fewer survivors than before coming in. There seemed to be no one else to find. He learned to accept that maybe… Just maybe, his family wasn’t coming back.

Another six months and Levi found that there was almost no more uninfected people being found. Levi learned to give up on his family ever coming back to him. Levi learned what it was like to feel one’s own soul rip apart. He shook it off.

Levi was promoted to captain of the special operations squad. In just a year and a half, he was given one of the highest ranking positions he could ask for. He had accepted he didn’t have a family to find and protect anymore, so he threw himself entirely into the one thing he was good at. Killing titans. He killed each and every one he came across like it personally was the one who had taken his family from him.

Two years after he lost his family, Petra spotted survivors trapped on a bus. The special ops squad sprung into action to save them. Hearing yelling from the bus as he finished off the last titan, Levi approached the doorway.

“What’s taking so long? Evacuate the brats and move on, we have a patrol,” Levi reprimanded.

“Captain!” Petra turned to him, her face worried.

And then another voice. “Levi?”

Levi felt time grind to a halt. He felt every hair on his body stand at attention and he walked up the steps of the bus, his limbs feeling like molasses. It  _ couldn’t be… _ “Armin?” Levi breathed as the blonde came into view. His eyes shot to what part of Armin was missing, his arm below the elbow was gone, but it was Armin nonetheless. 

His family. They were alive. They were safe… And they were talking to him but… “Where’s Eren?” Levi demanded, looking around for those bright green eyes he had missed so for so long.

“Captain, I don’t know who these kids are to you, but there’s one of them on the bus behind them, we have to kill it, but they won’t let us through,” Gunther said.

Levi turned to Mikasa just as Eren stood up behind her. But it wasn’t Eren. Not his Eren. It was a titan wearing his Eren’s skin. The pact. He had to…

Before he really knew it, Levi’s sword was through Eren’s chest. “Like we agreed, if you turn I’ll cut you down,” Levi gasped out.

Eren’s eyes brightened for a moment and he spoke. “Took you long enough…” He whispered.

And what was left of Levi’s soul shattered.

  
  



End file.
